Starting Over: Angie Stone Discusses New Album ‘Dream’ And Why She Won’t Return to Reality TV

Being in the lime light for over 30 years can certainly taint a soul, but when you can turn your mess into a message, that’s when you’re a certified survivor. Despite Hollywood’s unforgiving spotlight, veteran songbird Angie Stone is the definition of a conqueror; resilient and strong with a pioneering hip-hop career that withstood the test of time.

Stone readies the release of her seventh studio album, Dream, with the powerful single, “Two Bad Habits,” leading the charge. Stone’s robust vocals, vulnerable lyrics and gritty delivery made her a household name, making her voice an immediate force. Rising to fame in the late 1970s as member of the hip hop trio The Sequence, the three-time Grammy nominee brings back neo-soul and R&B, with a sprinkle of reality, on her latest effort.

TopNotch Music President Marv Mack adds, “It is more than a pleasure to have the opportunity to work with one of the most soulful voices of this generation. Angie is beyond talented and is still holding the torch of ‘real soul music.’

The Source caught up with the South Carolina native as she talked her new album, overcoming a depressed state and her stint on R&B Divas Atlanta.- Angela Wilson (@SheisAngela)

The Source: Tell us about your new album, Dream.

Angie Stone: The name of the album was inspired by Walter Millsap, who had a dream that God put on his heart and he started searching for me.

I was somewhere giving up, completely done, frustrated, broken and disappointment and just in need of a hug, so to speak. When he came along he told me he wanted to do this record. He said I know you’re probably not feeling it right now, but give me a shot. It was whatever at that point and I didn’t want to be rude, but I just wasn’t in the mood, and it had been that way for a long time.

When I decided to do another record it was because I reflected on the poem Foot Print, where God said the times when you were struggling those were the times I carried you. That was a time God was carrying me because- I get emotional when I think about it- I was broken. I didn’t want to do it, I didn’t feel like people were checking for me and that they had given up and I had given up.

Walter came along and gave me the necessary hug- not a physical hug but a spiritual hug- that I needed allowing God to operate through him.

I went into the studio, cutting two songs a night, and I couldn’t believe it. And the strength had to come from God himself because I was wounded.

2013 365 Black Awards

God is so good because we need to hear your testimony, and it gives Him all the glory!

Oh yeah, because coming from hip hop to where I am today, television being a driving force for marketing and you get on television and you’re mocked, toyed with and disrespected, it was the ultimate whooping Satan was trying to put on my life because of my destiny. And I knew God had greater in store for me.

I prayed a lot and even in my brokenness, God was just so glad I allowed Him to take the lead. Sometimes we feel like we have to fight all our battles, but it’s when we’re surrendered that’s when He shows us who He is and who we belong to. And that’s what happened with this project.

Even though I’m happy that it’s an amazing project, I’m overwhelmed because I was completely done and God turned it around and took over and now we’re having this conversation.

His strength is made perfect in our weakness.

There you go! I’ve been doing interviews all day but to interview with The Source– to be apart of something that has spanned over 30 years, being there from the ground floor up and still relevant, that’s nobody but God. I’m overwhelmed because not many people know of my hip hop roots but one day I’ll be able to tell the story in a biopic we’re thinking about doing.

What can fans expect from your album?

I think that everyone can take something away from this album that relates to their life. I’m painfully honest in my music, even with my first single, “Two Bad Habits,” we all have had bad habits once or twice in our life when we allow a man or a woman to dictate how we get to the finish line. And sometimes we lose, we make mistakes, we fall but we get back up.

I feel like everyone will find themselves in this record because I’m being transparent as I can be saying, hey, I go through it too. When you hear the song “Magnet,” who hasn’t felt like they don’t have “fool” written across their forehead?

As you look back over your career, do you have any regrets?

I don’t have any regrets at all. I think that God knew I would be up for the challenge when he chose me to walk this path. So I’m at a place where I wouldn’t undo anything.

What advice would you give to your younger self?

I would tell my younger self is to just be patient- you already have the tools God equipped you with to win. I don’t think my struggle would’ve been as hard if I had listened to my heart and not my head. My heart always knew that God had me protected and covered but my head moved faster than it’s time.

We try to get there faster with our heads, we start making moves and changing things but when we rearrange God plans it causes a detour- it doesn’t mean we won’t get there but it’ll take you a little bit longer.

See Also: Her Source | R&B Divas–Season Three, Episode One “Engagement To Engagement” Premiere Recap

You’re a lady of many talents, singing and acting, any projects coming up we can expect?

I finished making my assistant directorial debut on a movie called Pigskin, it’s not done, but I’ll probably have one or two scenes in that film. But I’m very excited about developing television shows.

TV One's One Christmas Holiday Variety Special

Do you still talk to your R&B Divas Atlanta co-stars?

Not really, KeKe [Wyatt] and I are cool, but I really don’t get a chance to speak with them. Nikki [Gilbert] and I speak in passing and chit chat, but that’s it. I think my cast mates were blood suckers and it’s hard to face me now.

Would you ever return to reality TV again?

No, I don’t think so. If it’s going to make a mockery out of me, then no, but if it’s going to benefit someone else, then yes.

What do you think is the biggest misconception about you?

I think people think I’m mean and I’m a diva.

Are you feeling Angie’s new single? Sound off on our Facebook page, or tweet us at @TheSource. Make sure you follow us on Instagram at @TheSource!

“Two Bad Habits” are available for download now.

Dream will be available for download and purchase on November 6. Click here to pre-order!

Photo credit: Getty Images

Baby On The Way! John Legend and Chrissy Teigen Are Expecting

Musician John Legend and gorgeous wife Chrissy Teigen are expecting their first child. Chrissy announced the big news on Instagram Monday with the caption:

John and I are so happy to announce that we are pregnant 🙂 As many of you know, we’ve been trying to have a baby for a while now. It hasn’t been easy, but we kept trying because we can’t wait to bring our first child into the world and grow our family. We’re so excited that it’s finally happening. Thank you for all your love and well wishes. I look forward to all the belly touching! Xx

The “Ordinary People” singer expressed his excitement for him and his wife via Twitter – “We’re pregnant!”

Teigen, 29 mentioned her struggle of conceiving in a very emotional interview on her new daytime talk show FABLife –

“John and I were having trouble. We would have had kids five, six years ago if it had happened,” she said. “But my gosh, it’s been a process.”

She explained how that question has affected her throughout the course of her marriage and Tyra Banks broke down discussing her issues with fertility as well. Take a peak from the segment –

It’s a blessing to see the couple has overcame an ongoing battle and we wish you the best of luck. Congratulations John and Chrissy!

Viola Davis Makes Black History At The 2015 Emmys – Watch Her Acceptance Speech Here!

“Let me tell you something: the only thing that separates women of color from anyone else is opportunity.”

There’s absolutely no stopping this smoking train, Viola Davis has had one incredible year. History was made at Sunday’s 67th annual Emmy Awards, as Davis became the first Black actress to win the Emmy for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama for her role as Annalise Keating on ABC’s How to Get Away with Murder. An emotional, overwhelmed, and honored Davis delivered a riveting speech in acceptance of the award.

“In my dreams and visions, I seemed to see a line, and on the other side of that line were green fields, and lovely flowers, and beautiful white ladies, who stretched out their arms to me over the line, but I couldn’t reach them no-how,”

Viola quoted Harriet Tubman.

The struggle for Black woman in television has been a topic of discussion for decades. Viola addresses her difficulty as an actress of color in her acceptance speech.

“You cannot win an Emmy for roles that are simply not there,”

Viola expressed.

At this year’s Emmys, there were also wins by Orange Is The New Black‘s Uzo Aduba in the Supporting Actress Drama category and American Crime‘s Regina King as Supporting Actress in a Limited Series Or Movie — a record for diversity in the top categories.

These woman have changed the conversation and are finally being recognized for their undeniable talents, despite the color of their skin. This moment is a step in a revolutionary direction for sure.

Congratulations to Viola Davis, she’s truly deserving of the honor!

By Tia Long (@ByTiaLong)

Having Trouble Finding Your Soulmate? This Might Be The Reason!

“You have to be in touch with your soul, to meet your soulmate.”

Most females reading this quote will automatically respond with a “yaassssssss” but do you really understand what it means?

My problem could be that I read too deeply into pretty much everything, but I believe it’s important to read between the lines. For starters, our good friend Google defines a soulmate as –

A person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.

The Urban Dictionary defines a soulmate as –

a person with whom you have an immediate connection the moment you meet.

A soulmate may be better defined as –

The person in which you experience an emotional, mental, and most importantly a spiritual connection with. It also ties into the the belief that there is one specific person for everybody, i.e.: The One.

The soul is to the heart what the mind is to the brain. With that being said, if you believe you think with your brain, you will never understand what it means to find a soulmate.

Now, when I say spiritual it does not have to be in a religious sense, but instead it’s the idea that connections and attractions amongst people are not ones that can’t always be seen, identified or even explained. To be connected with your soul means you have learned and embraced who you are on the inside. (Please be aware that nothing I mention is in the physical sense of the word i.e.: inside.) Genuine characteristics are generated from within as in, something that moves you doesn’t have to literally make you cry, but touches your soul. Once you have connected with that person, behind the make up, way past the mirror, that girl you hide from common folk, your energy will attract that person that sees you in your natural light and your true essence.

Here are 3 steps that will help lead you to your soulmate:

1. Meditation – It may sound cliché but 10-15 minutes out of the 24 hour day to connect with your spirit will help you tap into who you truly are. The moment you “face yourself” and peel back layers you have been avoiding, you’ll be on the right path.

2. Patience – Once you’ve started the journey to learning yourself, understand that anything worth having is worth waiting for. Mr. Right may not be right outside your door after your meditation session, so don’t go assuming every man you like is your soulmate. Timing is important when determining when to let someone in, or when’s the right time to translate your essence into the world.

3. Acceptance – Lastly, accept the connection that (like mentioned earlier) can’t always be seen, identified or even explained. In other words, the best relationships stem from the moments we have no control over. This time, just go with the flow instead for trying to understand every aspect and detail of the situation. Your souls will connect subconsciously and only then is when you’ve found The One.

So yes, after all of that it is true – You have to be in touch with your soul to meet your soulmate.

Share your thoughts, comments, and ideas on this topic with us @HerSource on twitter.

By Tia Long (@Bytialong)

Truth Revealed by Eazy-E’s Daughter E.B. On #DrZoeToday

By now maybe not everyone has seen the box office hit “Straight Outta Compton” but everyone has certainly heard about it. In true Dr. Zoe Today fashion, the show decided to get a much different perspective, particularly on one of N.W.A.’s controversial members, the late Eric Wright AKA “Eazy-E”. To do this, the show went to the roots and got in contact with The Godfather of Gangsta Rap‘s daughter, Erin Bria Wright or as she likes to be called, simply “E.B.” who was Thursday’s featured guest.

Whereas most interviewers would put the focus on the film, Host Dr. Zoe Shuster as usual went against the grain. While E.B. said she feels the Straight Outta Compton movie is great, it was not 100% factual. With so many conspiracy theories surrounding Eazy-E, his daughter was able to open up about his legacy, the misconceptions and the straight up bogus.

“There’s so much that people still don’t know about what he accomplished. Doing things 20 years ago that people are just doing now.” Erin says of her father.

One of the most popular beliefs surrounding her father’s death is that Suge Knight administered HIV/Aids to Eric Wright during a confrontation at a studio where Eazy-E was forced to sign over Dr. Dre. Dr. Zoe as her usual blunt self asked E.B. directly if she felt Suge had anything to do with the death of her father. Her answer was, no he did not. She said yes, her late father was forced to sign a paper and they had pulled guns out but Eazy was not beat up. What is also unknown and not portrayed in the Straight Outta Compton movie is that afterwards Eric Wright went to court and fought… and did in fact make money off of Dre and Death Row. E.B. states later in the interview that people “THINK” HIV/Aids is how Eazy-E passed away.

In an upcoming documentary Miss Wright is working on with her mother and sister, the family will be giving their own perspective on Eazy-E’s life, death and the controversy that followed. Titled “A Ruthless Scandal: No More Lies”, E.B. told Dr. Zoe that the film is “definitely going to put a lot to rest and expose the truth”.

During the interview the 24 year old artist expressed in detail her admiration for Kanye West, saying “He’s not selfish. He’s not fighting for himself… He’s innovative, a visionary, like my father in that sense.”

The episode is 45 minutes stocked full of information listeners would not otherwise know, a behind the scenes look at the life of a rap legend, what growing up as his daughter was like and perhaps most of all, the inspiration Eazy-E left behind.

Dr. Zoe Today is know for bringing listeners shocking celebrity interviews, advice on love, sex & relationships and truly lives by it’s tag, “YOUR connection for pop sexuality”.

The episode can be found under the Listen tab in the free “Dr. Zoe Today” app available on the App Store and Google Play or at http://DrZoeToday.com and will stay available in the show archives.

5 Things That Aren’t Just ‘For Chicks’ Anymore

Men can no longer be dismissive of certain ‘chick things’ anymore because plenty are doing it themselves – A LOT. A FUN look at some of them.

 

Gossiping – ‘The Chatty Patty’ Syndrome

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When Dame Dash coined the phrase “Chatty Patty”, we all thought it was hilarious but he did raise a very valid point. Not too long ago, gossiping was considered a feminine trait. An activity solely for the fairer sex to partake in during their weekly knitting circle meetings, or whatever it is us girls do when we’re all together. Not anymore. Thanks to social media, you can witness thousands of examples a day of guys who appear to have mastered the art of gossiping and taken it to new heights. A prime example of this can be seen in pretty much every reality television show going. Not only are dudes now happy to spill all of their innermost secrets, but they also have no problems doing the dirty on their homeboys either. Who is or isn’t cheating on his girl. Who’s not loyal. Who’s blah blah blah… It’s an epidemic.

 

Obsessional Selfies

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Duck lips. The Obligatory bathroom selfie. You know, the standard selfie shots? I’ve seen many memes floating around mocking some of our favorite selfie poses…. but there’s a new selfie contender in town and he’s coming for the crown. It’s near impossible to scroll through Instagram nowadays without stumbling across a few ott selfies. You know what I’m talking about; The “Hey girls – what do you think of my _ six-pack?” shot. Or maybe it’s the “It’s late at night and I’m fast asleep – but who the hell’s taking the selfie if I’m fast asleep?” shot. Perhaps it’s the “My best friend is a rapper and here’s proof of it because we’re standing next to each other outside a club/festival” selfie.

The guys are getting it in too! Not a criticism. Just saying.

 

Being Overly Emotional/Crying In Public

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Remember the days when you knew that at some point in his life, your dude/male best friend/ brother probably cried but you couldn’t say for sure because you’d never actually seen him crying with your own eyes? Well, you no longer have to wonder! In 2015, the metrosexual male has absolutely no problem shedding teams on the Gram. A long, drawn out, essay-like outpouring of emotion on Facebook? In 2015, that’s no problem. My entire point can be wrapped up in a singular tragic event we had the fortune/misfortune of watching unfold over the Internet. Meek Mill VS Drake. Case and point.

 

Make Up

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No longer just for actors/entertainers, etc. There are actual makeup lines dedicated to men. It’s a thing now. Concealer. Foundation. Men even rock mascara and eyeliners without batting an eyelid (pun totally intended). Equal rights should work for both genders, and if a guy wants to leave the house looking flawless, now he can without having to shop in the ladies section and being humiliated. Marc Jacobs, Tom Ford, and Clinique are just a few examples of brands that have rolled out cosmetics for the male sex. The lines are more geared towards concealments and evening out uneven skin tones etc. than ‘making up’ a man’s face. I’m going to go ahead and mention the spray on hair too. That’s practically makeup and men of all shapes; sizes and race have their fill. And don’t even get me started on the bleach!

 

Hair Extensions/Skirts, etc.

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A few years back, I was in the hair salon having some Janet Jackson braids put in. A guy walked in to have his hair put in cornrows. I was flabbergasted when he pulled out several bags of hair to be weaved in with his. Hair extensions are like, a regular thing now. Some men do crave length and will spend a few dollars on a hairpiece to get it.

Are they skirts of kilts? Is that a long dress or an extremely long vest? There have been countless times where I’ve tried to figure out whether the guy in front of me was wearing a loose pair of leggings of a tight pair of jeans. Women do not have the monopoly on these things anymore. We no longer have to endure the dreaded ‘horse hair’ joke because whether we know it or not, there are probably just as many men out here rocking a cool weave themselves.

 

 

Equality LIVES people.

Free Gym Pass, Ladies And Gents!

Seriously gym anyone?

This month Crunch is using a market tool that we just can’t turn down. The gym is now offering a 5 day guest pass including a free personal training session. Cool right? It gets better. In addition you can even get access to the classes they have to offer as well. I know right; amazing, free and no hidden fees. The best part is that I’m serious! All you literally have to do is fill out the form which the link is provided below in which where you can do so. I recently filled out the form myself and was reached out instantly by a manager through email. I was in the gym the next day and the experience was fab not to mention my personal trainer was a total babe. Any who, everyone should take advantage of this wonderful promo may end any day now.

https://www.crunch.com/guest-passes/5-day-with-pt/?utm_source=Corporate%20-%20NY%20-%20Time%20Out%20NY&utm_medium=Dedicated%20Email&utm_content=5D%2BPT&utm_campaign=Corporate%20-%20NY%20-%20Time%20Out%20NY%205D%2BPT%208.15?cid=TOL|DD|EM|||2015-08-26T17:15:42

-P.S. Although I did mention all these goodies along with the fact that this is a major freebie, I mean come on it’s a market tool. It’s only right that at the end of it all of course their going to try to get you so join the gym with an official membership which you are totally not entitled too if you don’t wan’t too. Lol, in the mean time, say fit my friends.

ICYMI: Kerry Washington For Post-Baby Body President! Take a Look For Yourself

Progression is Kerry Washington’s middle name and it shows in her newest cover!

The actress flexes her incredible physique on this cover of “Self” magazine. In nothing more than a sports bra and leotard the Scandal star defines what the “snapback” should really look like. Although, Washington was flawless before giving birth to her 1-year-old daughter Isabell, she claims that she’s not aiming for the pre-baby body. Kerry Washington has wowed in a new fitness and health spread for Self Magazine revealing how motherhood and her hectic set life as Olivia Pope, has set pushed to the next level.

“A few weeks ago, my manager asked: ‘Do you feel like you’re back? I feel like you’re back.’ She meant it as a total compliment, but we had this great conversation where I was like, ‘You know what? I try really hard not to use that language, because it’s not about going backward in life,'” Kerry explains.

“I’ve been really focused on not being ‘back’ to anything, but being the best version of myself right now,” she adds. “My body is the site of a miracle now. I don’t want to be pre-miracle.”

You’d assume with a schedule like Kerry’s it’d be hard to stay dedicated to the gym. The actress explains that pilates is her thing, which she’s been doing two to six times a week for the past five years. She’s also a certified yoga instructor, and shares that her and her fellow Scandal actresses take regular hikes around Los Angeles as a group ritual. Washington tributes her dedication to her role on the ABC hit series Scandal

“It makes my heart smile to think that maybe part of the reason I’m taking all this on is because of Olivia,” she says. “She truly believes that she can handle every situation, and I do feel that has bled into my life. I have more of a sense of my capacity to do anything.”

Well, sounds like Kerry Washington is a real life Gladiator to say the least.

By Tia Long (@ByTiaLong)

Important Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Say, “Yes”

Every relationship is unique, but I’m sure most of us dream about walking down the aisle with the one we love. Also a whimsical affair, marriage in the long term take a lot of work and making the decision to commit yourself to somebody for the rest of your life should not be taken lightly.

The list of questions to ask yourself to ensure you are making the right decision could be infinite, but these are a few we feel are important.

 

Can I Truly Be Myself?

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You can’t be truly at peace if you cannot be who you truly are. That’s a fact. When we first meet a person, we usually tend to show them the best sides ourselves. We give them our best looks, our best manners and our best attitudes, until we get comfortable. It’s then, at the comfortable phase of a relationship when we really know whether or not we are compatible with a person. Do they still find me attractive in a vest and a pair of sweatpants? When you’re having a ‘bad hair week?’ When you’re moody or when you’re so wrapped up in your work that they can barely get a look in that week? Do they mind if you’re super loud in public or that you’re an introvert and try and avoid being around people? Your quirks. Your flaws.

 

 

What Are Their Goals For The Future?

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Nobody wants to set up home with a bum. Having goals and aspirations is a must. Putting all your eggs into the basket of somebody who has no desire to make a success of their life will equal a bucket load of more work for you.

Years ago, after getting into a relationship with a grown man who had no sense of direction in his life or any real life goals, I learned the hard way. My days were spent working, my nights were spent cooking, cleaning up after him and trying to find him work. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with supporting your partner if they’re trying and going through a rough spot. I’m not against that at all. Everybody needs a little help sometime, but having ambition should be a given.

As well as what their goals are, ask yourself whether your goals line up as a couple. If you’re both ambitious but he wants 11 kids and you don’t want any at all, this could be a problem. If you want to travel the world and your partner isn’t even interested in stepping foot outside of the city…this could also be a problem. If he’s looking for a wife to stay at home, not work and taker care of the kids and you have your heart at pursuing your career and being a high-powered businesswoman, this could lead to some issues. I’m a believer in couples

 

 

Sexual Compatibility – Is It There?

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Sex is important. Chemistry is important.  You do not have to be having sex with a person to acknowledge whether or not you have chemistry. You will be able to tell. If it’s not there. It’s not there. Don’t force it. Marriage will not make you find them desirable overnight. It doesn’t work like that. A healthy, happy sexual relation is hopefully one of the things you should can look forward to after you’re engaged or married, so don’t cheat yourself. If it aint there, you can’t fix it!

 

 

Can I Handle Their Temper?

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A strange one perhaps and highly controversial, but this was a piece of advice handed down to me by my older cousin. A person’s temperament matters. How they troubleshoot dilemmas and how the react when they do not get their own way or are angry.  For the majority of us, we are able to keep ourselves in check even when we are brought to anger. For a small few, they are unable to control their tempers and the results can have tragic results.

My cousin’s advice was that it was important to see a person’s temper before you follow through with make any major commitment to a person. You may not be about that life, for real! I’m not saying to make them angry at all. Definitely do not push a persons buttons on purpose, but when you see them angry, really pay attention. Pay attention to their words. To their facial expressions (especially those microexpressions).

Growing up as a child, I was regularly exposed to domestic violence.  My primary carer was a man who was pretty much able to charm any woman he pleased and he only ever showed them his temper once they were already invested and had moved in with us. It was only then that they’d see his temper and realized it wasn’t something that they could manage or want to live with let alone, be married to. In hindsight, I can see that with each and every one of these women, there were clear signs if they had been focused on him and not on the smokescreen he was using to lure them in. When angry, he would ball in hands into a fist and open and close his fists to calm himself down. He would clench his jaws and grind his teeth and his temples would be pulsating. He was angry. Often. Most days about something. Pay attention.

  

 

Are We Both REALLY Down?

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By the time you’ve gotten to the point where you’re both considering marriage, you should know most of what you need to know about your mate. You’ll know whether they’re love is unconditional, if they have your back and are trying to ride til’ the wheels fall off. What if they gained a lot of weight? If they were (God forbid) really sick or suffered from depression? Would they stand by you? Would you stand by them and support them and nurse them back to health if needed? You’ll be promising to do these things when you exchange your vows. Do not say “yes” unless you’re in it for the long haul. This means warts and all

 

 

What’s 20 Years Down The Line Look Line”?

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Close your eyes and ask yourself this very simple question; 20 years down the line, do I still see myself happy with this person?

If the answer is “yes”…then you probably have your answer.

 

What are some other questions you feel should be asked before saying “Yes” to the ring?

 

 

-Ayara Pommells (@YahYahNah)

Long Distance Love

Long distance relationships are becoming ever more frequent. In this day and age, you don’t even have to step outside the door to find true love. You can find it wandering around aimlessly in cyberspace.  It can be a beautiful event, two people living thousands of miles apart, finding ‘The One’ but it does take a lot of work and commitment.

 

These are just a few tips on how to keep your long distance love on track… 

 

 

Frequent Communication
 
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Calls. Texts. Skype. Facetime. Letters. Facebook… All of these things and more are at your disposal, so use them! Keeping up regular communication is the main component needed to maintain a healthy relationship, let alone a long distance one.

The fact that you’re not close enough to meet up every evening for a meal or grab an impromptu coffee will prove to be frustrating at times and knowing that you will speak to them in an few hours can keep these frustrations at bay. By regular, I don’t mean on the hour, every hour. Respecting each other’s time and space and also their work, is important.

That may prove to be a little much for at least one of you but don’t go days and days without checking in unless you have a damn good reason. I hate the saying, “Out of sight, out of mind”, but unfortunately for some people…this is the case, so don’t be out of sight for too long. Let your partner know that you’re thinking about them. Call them and tell them about your day. Even something as trivial as Facetiming to show them the new bag you’ve nabbed off eBay for a bargain can put a smile on both of your faces. Sharing is important. It’s what makes you a team and although you may be thousands of miles apart, you can still face the daily challenges together and be of support to one another.

 

 

Regular Video Chats
 
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It really should go without saying. If you can’t be with your beau, the next best thing to actually being with them is getting to see and chat with them over the Internet. These days, there are so many apps that offer free Wi-Fi video chatting, there’s really no excuse not to. Seeing your partner smile in the mornings before they leave for work or at the end of the day whilst snuggling up with your favorite comforter can make the distance not as much of a factor.

 

 

Be Secure
 
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Insecurity in any situation is never good, but insecurities within a relationship where your hardly get to see each other and rely on an electronic device to keep it rolling, can be a real challenge. Being secure within yourself and your partner is very important. Know yourself. Know that you’re a great person and know that you both deserve and demand the best. Once you are secure in this, you wont spend time worrying about what your beau is or isn’t doing.

 

 

Remember That ALL Relationships Have Their Ups And Downs
 
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However much fun you’re having or however deeply in love you are, you will have fallouts…and that’s ok. No relationship is perfect and little disagreements here and there is all a part of the ‘getting to know you experience’.  It’s healthy. As long as you aren’t arguing most of the time (which isn’t healthy), the main thing is the way you both bring it all back together. Grown people should be able to disagree, agree to disagree where they can’t find a commonplace and move on. You don’t have to agree with every decision your partner makes or love every single word that leaves their mouth. What you do need to do is respect that even though they are in a relationship with you, they’re still an individual and they will, on occasion drive you completely up the wall. Just don’t leave it to long to make up. Carrying around pent up negative energy helps no one.

 

 

Acknowledge Significant Dates, Anniversaries & Memories
 
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This may be a little corny but in my experience, it does help. Remembering significant dates and anniversaries to ‘celebrate’ helps to solidify the commitment. Remembering your first date. The first time you became ‘official’. The first show you attended together and acted a fool. Your 6-month anniversary. The first time you both said those 3 little words. In a long distance relationship, the odds are already against you, so every day, week, month and year you spend together is a huge achievement and can feel even more special. Relish these moments. You can even have virtual dates. Watching a movie together (which is possible now thanks to shared screen on Skype). Play games online. Write together. You can even cook together. Creativity is the key. If you can’t spend your birthday with your loved one, make time to celebrate with them online. Long distance love requires thinking outside of the box, often.

 

 
 

Plan Regular Trips In Advance
 
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Forward planning is key. You may go for lengthy periods of time without seeing each other, but make sure that there’s an end in sight. It keeps the mind focused. Having a date, even if it’s just tentative, lets you know that this isn’t all for nothing. You’ll be seeing your beau soon and that all of this work is truly worth it!

 

 
Enjoy It!
 
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When with the right person, a relationship is a wondrous experience. Have fun. Live. Laugh. Love! Life is too darn short not to!

 

 

 

-Ayara Pommells (@YahYahNah)