Long Distance Love

Long distance relationships are becoming ever more frequent. In this day and age, you don’t even have to step outside the door to find true love. You can find it wandering around aimlessly in cyberspace.  It can be a beautiful event, two people living thousands of miles apart, finding ‘The One’ but it does take a lot of work and commitment.


These are just a few tips on how to keep your long distance love on track… 



Frequent Communication
Calls. Texts. Skype. Facetime. Letters. Facebook… All of these things and more are at your disposal, so use them! Keeping up regular communication is the main component needed to maintain a healthy relationship, let alone a long distance one.

The fact that you’re not close enough to meet up every evening for a meal or grab an impromptu coffee will prove to be frustrating at times and knowing that you will speak to them in an few hours can keep these frustrations at bay. By regular, I don’t mean on the hour, every hour. Respecting each other’s time and space and also their work, is important.

That may prove to be a little much for at least one of you but don’t go days and days without checking in unless you have a damn good reason. I hate the saying, “Out of sight, out of mind”, but unfortunately for some people…this is the case, so don’t be out of sight for too long. Let your partner know that you’re thinking about them. Call them and tell them about your day. Even something as trivial as Facetiming to show them the new bag you’ve nabbed off eBay for a bargain can put a smile on both of your faces. Sharing is important. It’s what makes you a team and although you may be thousands of miles apart, you can still face the daily challenges together and be of support to one another.



Regular Video Chats
It really should go without saying. If you can’t be with your beau, the next best thing to actually being with them is getting to see and chat with them over the Internet. These days, there are so many apps that offer free Wi-Fi video chatting, there’s really no excuse not to. Seeing your partner smile in the mornings before they leave for work or at the end of the day whilst snuggling up with your favorite comforter can make the distance not as much of a factor.



Be Secure
Insecurity in any situation is never good, but insecurities within a relationship where your hardly get to see each other and rely on an electronic device to keep it rolling, can be a real challenge. Being secure within yourself and your partner is very important. Know yourself. Know that you’re a great person and know that you both deserve and demand the best. Once you are secure in this, you wont spend time worrying about what your beau is or isn’t doing.



Remember That ALL Relationships Have Their Ups And Downs
However much fun you’re having or however deeply in love you are, you will have fallouts…and that’s ok. No relationship is perfect and little disagreements here and there is all a part of the ‘getting to know you experience’.  It’s healthy. As long as you aren’t arguing most of the time (which isn’t healthy), the main thing is the way you both bring it all back together. Grown people should be able to disagree, agree to disagree where they can’t find a commonplace and move on. You don’t have to agree with every decision your partner makes or love every single word that leaves their mouth. What you do need to do is respect that even though they are in a relationship with you, they’re still an individual and they will, on occasion drive you completely up the wall. Just don’t leave it to long to make up. Carrying around pent up negative energy helps no one.



Acknowledge Significant Dates, Anniversaries & Memories
This may be a little corny but in my experience, it does help. Remembering significant dates and anniversaries to ‘celebrate’ helps to solidify the commitment. Remembering your first date. The first time you became ‘official’. The first show you attended together and acted a fool. Your 6-month anniversary. The first time you both said those 3 little words. In a long distance relationship, the odds are already against you, so every day, week, month and year you spend together is a huge achievement and can feel even more special. Relish these moments. You can even have virtual dates. Watching a movie together (which is possible now thanks to shared screen on Skype). Play games online. Write together. You can even cook together. Creativity is the key. If you can’t spend your birthday with your loved one, make time to celebrate with them online. Long distance love requires thinking outside of the box, often.



Plan Regular Trips In Advance
Forward planning is key. You may go for lengthy periods of time without seeing each other, but make sure that there’s an end in sight. It keeps the mind focused. Having a date, even if it’s just tentative, lets you know that this isn’t all for nothing. You’ll be seeing your beau soon and that all of this work is truly worth it!


Enjoy It!
When with the right person, a relationship is a wondrous experience. Have fun. Live. Laugh. Love! Life is too darn short not to!




-Ayara Pommells (@YahYahNah)



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Ayara Pommells